According to Cosmopolitan, here are four things you should never joke about with your man:

His Future Hair Loss
With the exception of Hollywood types like Vin Diesel, most guys with shiny chrome domes are not deemed the sexiest man alive. That’s why many guys stress about potential future loss.

His Paltry Paycheck
Men consider it their obligation to bring home the bacon. So you can see why kidding around about your sugar-mama status isn’t exactly a good idea.

His Mom
Once you start dissing a boy’s mother, things are going to get ugly.

His Member
In a nutshell, keep Johnson jokes to yourself, especially if you ever want him to come out to play again.